ELove's Brain Online

So yeah I do have fibromyalgia okay this sucks but everyone says at least I won't die.......I'll leave that one be. Today is not a good day in a lot of pain. FM is a problem in the brain where it tells your body it is pain when there isn't the normal damage or stress on a body part. So yeah there also is no cure. Its like fake pain that your brain makes real. Yeah I no longer wonder why people don't think its real. It would be nice if my boyfriend showed any interest in the daily pain that I go through and not just pressure me about not having sex with him. Ok kids I have a hard time taking a shower, sex is not at the top of my list of things to do. I wrote my mom her birthday card today took 20 mins to write about four lines I wanted to say so much more but I was in so much pain I hope she knows there is so much more. I want my boyfriend to be single I really do. I think he would be soooo much happier doing his own thing meeting people and not having someone drag him down. In my mine our relationship has deteriorated to nothing so seems like a perfect time. I"m afraid to tell him cause well I don't want to be alone and I don't want him to freak out on me and make me feel worse, seems to be all he does these days cause I really honestly don't think he wants to be with me. His happy stories are that of things a single guy does and he gets depressed when he thinks about me. I just don't have the energy. He wants to make everything so complicated and deep all while acting like he's laid back. News flash he is not laid back and is supremely complicated. I need laid back. Anyways I'm either tired or in pain or something I can't write anymore. Peace....ahhh that would be nice