ELove's Brain Online

So here I am lying in my bed in severe pain. Migraine, neck, back and knee pain pumped full of drugs yet still in pain and now my tummy hurts from the meds. Life is fun right. I just wrote down a list of my symptoms and honestly I think it is gonna overwhelmed the doctor I am going to see today. Funny thing that is not the thing that is on my mind. I have a boyfriend, James. Everyone says "Emily its not James or nobody." Hey guess what it is, but even if it was not because I have no problem finding men not to be conceited but they just are not that complicated. Unfortunately I am because of this fucking illness. Anyways James is in California for a month or so. Usually he is really good tells me he misses me seems sad without me tells me how much he wants to see me. Instead, he got a new car without even talking it over with me *ding ding ding guess what Emily you aren't that important to this guy* and has been partying. He has myspace, one pic of me *not saying i'm his girlfriend*, tons of pics of him partying and wasted and with girls AND kissing a guy. He's 30 years old come on now. I wanted him to have fun but not leaving me hanging. I feel so unimportant right now its not even funny. He talks to bunches of girls on myspace *flashed back to my Ex cheating on me on myspace* and treats me like I"m being crazy for being upset by it *flashed back to my Ex always turning everything on me.* Real good stuff for the self esteem lemme tell ya. Wah for me right. I should not really even be in a relationship but you know what relationships never come at convenient times. We'll see where it goes like I said it's a waiting game for me. So I"m pretty sure I have Fibra Myalgia isn't that just great. My luck keeps getting better whomever said the irish are lucky was prolly drunk and irish. Damn I can't even drink anymore, hell I can't get out of bed haha. Oh its not funny but you gotta laugh in life at some point even if you're crying right?Right?