ELove's Brain Online

Purpose is always something I struggle with. I want to make a difference. I want to do something. I want to be remembered. I want to be more than dirt if I died today. It's hard to get past that. I struggle with comparing myself to others. What if I did that or this and it always ends with the sad conclusion I am different. Why can't I go do all the things I used to, why can't I always say yes, why am I not meeting people, why am I alone? If God's purpose for me is to be alone then why don't I feel okay with it. Guess that's my problem. I see guys I want to get to know they are younger than me. It seems every person my age is married. Its hard to take I guess or accept. Why do I feel lonely and long for that (beside the fact that the media shoves it in your face). I do think its natural to want to have someone but it doesn't seem to be in my cards and how long is it gonna take for me to figure that out. I'm the most positive I have been in....well my whole life so I really don't been this to sound ungrateful I just wonder why I guess. I'm gonna come up with goals and continue to accept being alone is probably my path.....still working....